Don’t forget to love yourself.

I just spent a good portion of my day watching Youtube videos of people giving expert advice as to how to get someone to be attracted to you. I was doing this because I wanted to find answers. Weeks ago, I met a guy that made my heart skip a beat. He was the person that I always said never existed: someone who could make me fall head over heels at the first meeting.

After pondering over these alien feelings, I realized that I had indeed fallen for this person who was essentially, still a stranger to me. I’ve barely skimmed the surface of what makes him a person and yet, he’s the only constant thought that I have every single day since that first encounter. I will even go as far as saying that I think I’m already in love with him.

How strange is it to feel this way about someone whom I barely know.

Continue reading “Don’t forget to love yourself.”

A letter to Amsterdam

I didn’t know what to expect when I stepped on to the plane heading towards you back in October. I cried millions of tears from the Immigration counter to my seat on the airplane because finally, I was starting the long journey I had been dreaming of. The sheer amount of blog posts, testimonials, youtube videos, and guide books that I had read could not prepare me for what was in my future, when you and I would finally come face to face. Honestly, I still cannot describe how I feel about you despite having been with you, in you, for about a month and a half already.

I will try to illustrate my thoughts in bullet form for the time being.

  1. Everyone was right about your temperament. In a single day alone, you would give me a bit of sunshine only to be followed by endless bouts of rain, scattered all throughout the day. I can’t tell when your tears will pour so I find myself staying in my waterproof boots and bright, yellow raincoat.
  2. You are kind. I lost my wallet about a week ago and somehow, it found its way back to me. If that had happened anywhere else, I knew I would have had to kiss Chewy goodbye.
  3. Nothing could have prepared me for the money situation. I was not previously informed that you promoted paperless transactions, so I was quite reliant on Anna ’til I was finally able to get a bank card of my own. This irked me for weeks even if I knew it would get better in the long run.
  4. You have so much to offer. I could get lost in the mazes of your museums for days, maybe even weeks. Don’t even get me started on the houses! The streets are generally quiet but nothing short of interesting. I could stare at you and never get bored.
  5. You are home now, but not really. I still feel like an outsider not because of the language barrier or my ethnicity. You are beautiful but a stopover, if that makes any sense. I was waiting for that feeling everyone talks about when you know you’ve found the one; that it’d be love at first sight and that I would settle here for the rest of my life. I honestly was hoping that from you, for us but sadly, it doesn’t appear to be so.

I hope you don’t mind these letters, Amsterdam. I feel like this is the first of many that I will write over the next year.

Love always,