The first month of being single

It took me a while to publish this post. I spent a lot of time staring at the earlier drafts and with time, it was slowly forgotten. It has actually been 4 months since the break up. I am still single but have gone through many realizations.

What you are about to read is my last draft of my reflections on the first month. I left it as is so the emotions are quite fresh with a sprinkle of bitterness.

The most important thing I learned from these four months of being single is this: In order to move on, I needed to forgive (him) to forget (and move on with my life).

Everyone has their own way of coping with heartache. For some, it’s engaging in intimacy with the first male in sight. For others, it’s crying and eating uncontrollably or maybe shopping ’til you’re so broke there are new scratch marks on your credit card (ahem). All these, I’ve sadly either done or contemplated on doing these past few weeks.

So imagine my surprise on New Year’s Eve, after scrolling through what felt like an eternity’s worth of New Year’s greetings on Facebook, that it finally hit me what I needed to do to pick myself up. If I had to describe it, it was like finally realizing that your grade went up and you’ve been wearing glasses with the wrong prescription this whole time. You take them off and think, “So this is why I’ve been getting all those headaches.”

The answer was always there with me, from the very beginning. I was feeling helpless, trying everything to move on as quickly as possible but lo and behold, I subconsciously already knew what the answer was.

Continue reading “The first month of being single”

Redecorating the condo

Here’s a quick post that’s basically me showing off a new(ish) rug.

After years of living in Manila, I felt that it was time to revamp my place. This condo has seen several people come and go. I first moved in here with my older sister and her family (husband, baby and the yaya) back in 2010. When she graduated, she moved to the province of her husband which led to me and Annie living alone for a while. Annie eventually moved out after graduation because her new job was situated in Quezon City and commuting in Manila is a bitch. In between all this, we’ve had several furry visitors (4 cats and 5 dogs) come and go as well.

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When I decided to redecorate the place, I didn’t have the capacity to do everything in one go. The floor was my biggest problem because they’re in the shade of a dirty peach marbling. But since I’m poor and retiling is not only laborious but expensive, that’ll have to wait.

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What I did instead was I removed around the furniture and added small but new elements to the space. I’m not formally trained in interior decorating but I did have the power or the internet. Let’s just say Pinterest was my most used app during all this.

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Bought this rug/banig last Christmas at Greenbelt 5. I knew early on that I wanted to infuse a lot of natural textures and color to the space so I kept an eye out for local crafts in bazaars and online. I brought in some greenery (bought from Cubao) to add color and to see if I can actually take care of something that wasn’t a dog.

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After going through several websites, OLX ads and Facebook groups, I’ve come to realize something that Manila has been missing: eclectic-border-bohemian inspired home pieces. I have been obsessing over these maximalist-themed interior decorators on Instagram and every time I click on tags to the brands they get their stuff at, it’s always way too expensive or they don’t ship to the Philippines. It’s frustrating since I’m on a budget and I don’t want to settle for buying all my things at the SM Department store.

I’ve actually been toying around with the idea of starting my own online shop wherein I sell the kinds of items I’ve been looking for at affordable prices. You’ll be able to find incense holders, tapestries made in India, wooden boxes, etc. Thinking of also selling my bayong with the pompoms.

What do you think? What are things you’ve been wanting to get for your space but aren’t accessible atm?

*Photos taken by me using the Samsung S4 camera.