The first week of being single

Because everyone loves juicy gossip.

2016 has officially roundhouse-kicked my butt. You’d think things can’t get any worse than the recent Presidential elections, chaos in Syria, the whole Marcos debacle, losing a loved one… then comes life proving you wrong and reminding you that you are not never in control.

And even if I’m a pretty optimistic person (at least, I’d like to think so), this was a blow unlike other blows. When you separate from someone you’ve put alot of time and effort and love in to, the world becomes a glassy version of what reality is. It’s like stepping into that other world they keep talking about in Stranger Things, it’s familiar but not at the same time. That’s where I’ve been living for the past week, somewhere that looks like my day-to-day life minus all the colors.

So last night, after dinner with my best friend, I get home and start feeling sorry for myself. Even if Allie was there, I still felt alone and lost and every synonym I can think of. I end up calling and instantly regretting because the moment I hear his voice, I have flashes of why we had to break up. The call ends quickly and I’m left crying myself to sleep.

But don’t forget, Jamie, that the pain is temporary.

How the hell did I use to do this before? Now that I’m older, it still feels the same; like hitting a brick wall HARD. You’d think that with time and practice, heartbreak would get easier but it doesn’t.

So how do you cope with a heartbreak? I’m open for suggestions because all I’ve got so far is:

  1. Spending money I don’t have. Online retail therapy is my jam.
  2. Distracting myself with my job.
  3. Googling “We broke up” and watching similar Youtube videos so I know that I’m not alone.

Here’s one that I particularly resonated with. I think it helps that her break-up was also recent, so it’s like we’re kindred souls somehow (similar to when your menstrual cycles syncs with your best friend’s).

I know things will get better. I know, I know. But right now, they’re not and I’ll have to find a way to be okay with that.

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